never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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