so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize