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My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Randomize
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