Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Randomize
Follow @tfln