after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
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she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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