you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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