I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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