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Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This baby is an asshole
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Randomize
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