now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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