Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He had one of those small greek statue penises
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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