Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize