remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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