it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
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We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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