puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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