Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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