what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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