you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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