So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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