i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
P.S. I can't hear my feet
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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