yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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