there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
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Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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