We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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