porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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