I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize