I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im six kinds of drunk right now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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