I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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