so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize