i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize