Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize