Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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