Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize