dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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