I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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