somebody snuck up and got me drunk
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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