apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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