Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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