I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize