If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize