Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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