Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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