Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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