people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
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as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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