Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

  (212): View more from New York

  Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

  (212): View more from New York

  Really

  (941): View more from Florida

  You win

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  (941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2337) Bad night (572)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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  (248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0
  Replies (1) Good night (917) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  why didn't you poke me back

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  (248): why didn't you poke me back http://tfl.nu/aomd
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (1505) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.

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  (509): went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down. http://tfl.nu/4560
  Replies (11) Good night (623) Bad night (2826) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.

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  (715): he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut. http://tfl.nu/y3au
  Replies (13) Good night (4517) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.

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  (785): There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill. http://tfl.nu/tym2
  Replies (10) Good night (2720) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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  (770): Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/mf5n
  Replies (5) Good night (2299) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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  (315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0
  Replies (7) Good night (3362) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.

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  (513): I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid. http://tfl.nu/geoy
  Replies (31) Good night (964) Bad night (5639) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i drank out of a bidet.

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  (443): i drank out of a bidet. http://tfl.nu/arjg
  Replies (16) Good night (747) Bad night (4248) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.

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  (617): she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something. http://tfl.nu/1xv3
  Replies (17) Good night (848) Bad night (3354) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

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  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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  (701): nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information (1-701): walking out with herpes. that would be worse http://tfl.nu/edgz
  Replies (11) Good night (2426) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.

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  (859): You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy. http://tfl.nu/r8h1
  Replies (10) Good night (505) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.

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  (312): Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag. http://tfl.nu/6eu4
  Replies (2) Good night (748) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt

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