I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm passing your future prison.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize