Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize