She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize