Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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