when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize