PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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