I need help removing her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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